Fantasy Drafts

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Sports Mascots Draft

4:12 PM
Some how, some way, FantasyDrafts made it into an ESPN.com chat. Here, the merciless worshipers of the Worldwide Leader tore into the Breakfast Cereals Draft (well, mostly Sarah's draft). Near the end of the chat Tim from Atlanta asked a simple, but brilliant, question: what would be the first pick in a draft of sports mascots?

We had found our muse. The FantasyDrafters immediately set to work on devising draft boards and working out draft day deals. Sarah and Sydney teamed up for this one. The results are below:


Round 1

Adam - San Diego Chicken
S&S - Notre Dame Leprechaun (Notre Dame)
Bryan - Philly Phanatic (Philadelphia Phillies)
Albert - Phoenix Suns Gorilla (Phoenix Suns Gorilla)
Dan - Youppi (Montreal Canadians/Expos)
Chris - Otto the Orange (Syracuse)

Round 2

Chris - Mr. Met (New York Mets)
Dan - Bernie Brewer (Milwaukee Brewers)
Albert - Chief Osceola and Renegade (Florida State)
Bryan - Donald Duck (Oregon)
S&S - Sammy the Slug (UC Santa Cruz)
Adam - The Oriole Bird (Baltimore Orioles)

Round 3

Adam - Handsome Dan (Yale) (Traded to Bryan for Stanford Tree)
S&S - Boilermaker Special (Purdue)
Bryan - Stanford Tree (Traded to Adam for Handsome Dan and mascot to be named later)
Albert - Traveler (USC)
Dan - Keggy the Keg (Dartmouth)
Chris - Big Red (Western Kentucky)

Round 4

Chris - Colonel Reb (Mississippi)
Dan - Bill the Goat (Naval Academy)
Albert - Bevo (Texas)
Bryan - Sparty (Michigan State)
S&S - Rally Monkey (Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim)
Adam - Smokey (Tennessee)

Round 5

Adam - The Fighting Christians (Elon)
S&S - Captain Fear (Tampa Bay Buccaneers)
Bryan - Demon Deacon (Wake Forest)
Albert - Testudo (Maryland)
Dan - WuShock (Witchita State)
Chris - Brutus Buckeye (Ohio State)

Round 6

Chris - Chief Wahoo (Cleveland Indians)
Dan - Pistol Pete (Oklahoma State)
Albert - Albert Gator (Florida)
Bryan - St. Joe's Hawk (St. Joseph's)
S&S - Cayenne (Louisiana Lafayette)
Adam - Reveille (Texas A&M)

12 Comments:

Anonymous changston said...

...and a mascot to be named later? How does that work? Adam should have just taken the Tree with his pick. Having drunk with and fallen on small children with 4 iterations of the Tree, it would have been first on my draft board, and I didn't even go to Stanford.

11:05 AM  
Blogger jeff gow said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

2:07 PM  
Blogger Selfish Country Music Loving Lady said...

Good lord, that's terrifying. Also it looks more like a hamburger than a crab.

9:38 AM  
Anonymous Jason said...

How did the Fighting Artichokes of Scottsdale Community College not get drafted. I highly recommmend someone signing them to a free agent deal. Go Chokes.

11:36 AM  
Blogger Captain Easychord said...

somewhere, billy the marlin is crying...

4:49 PM  
Blogger Village Idiot said...

Handsome Dan is way better than The Tree. You can't even throw up in that damned rubber costume. And Handsome D is at least a real person.

8:16 AM  
Blogger Selfish Country Music Loving Lady said...

Jump on it! jump on it!

6:21 PM  
Blogger josh Mueller said...

Otto in the 1st round! I feel like the 100+k I spent to go to SU is now well worth it. Demon Deacon was a steal btw.

10:42 AM  
Blogger Wilhelm said...

Some how, all of you overlooked the remarkably appalling mascot of my mother's H.S. Remember the Orofino (Idaho) H.S. "Maniacs". The mascot would be simply ideosyncratic but for the fact that Orofino is home to one of Idaho's State mental hospitals.
Wilhelm (aka The Oldtimer)

6:56 PM  
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Anonymous Elliott Broidy said...

Cool

12:13 PM  

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