Fantasy Drafts

Thursday, December 22, 2005

The Great American Novel....s Draft

4:09 PM
After much squabbling, griping, bickering, whining, walking back and forth over the Brooklyn Bridge, and the inevitable couple of vicious mob killings, we squeaked out quite a lovely American Novels draft, if I do say so myself. All novels originally published in the U.S. were eligible.

Thus marks the end of the Era of Cutesy Little Comments about Justin in the Sidebar. And the beginning of the glorious Era in which Three-Person Drafts Are Considered Acceptable.

Sydney: Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath
Justin: Melville, Moby-Dick
Sarah: Nabokov, Lolita

Sarah: Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird
Justin: Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
Sydney: Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Sydney: Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises
Justin: Faulkner, The Sound and the Fury
Sarah: Ellison, Invisible Man

Sarah: Wharton, The Age of Innocence
Justin: Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter
Sydney: Irving, The World According the Garp

Sydney: Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
Justin: Stowe, Uncle Tom’s Cabin
Sarah: Hemingway, For Whom the Bell Tolls

Sarah: Stegner, Angle of Repose
Justin: Kerouac, On the Road
Sydney: Roth, American Pastoral

Sydney: James, Portrait of a Lady
Justin: Salinger, Catcher in the Rye
Sarah: Morrison, Beloved

Sarah: Wolfe, Bonfire of the Vanities
Justin: Heller, Catch-22
Sydney: Alcott, Little Women

Sydney: Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Justin: Kesey, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Sarah: Roth, Portnoy’s Complaint

Sarah: Mitchell, Gone with the Wind
Justin: London, Call of the Wild
Sydney: Dick, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry, guys, but no commentary is necessary.

Sydney wins. End of message.

8:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nah. irving and vonnegut came out way to early. and what the hell was the last pick?

10:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do Androids Dream of Electric SHEEP. When judging the Great American Novel...s, it helps to be able to read.

1:33 AM  
Anonymous Sydney said...

Well, that's more a case of proofreading as opposed to reading in general. But all is well now, thanks to me. Our dear grammar/spelling nazi of an administratrix made a typo! Let's all make fun of her! bahaha

10:47 AM  
Anonymous Literature Professor said...

quick question: how many of you were English/Lit majors? Have any of you taken an American Novel course? Have any of you taken any critical theory courses applied to literature, i.e. literature theory?

11:59 AM  
Blogger Flash in the Pan said...

l'etoile? is that you? you rascally bastard? i didnt even know you knew how to get on the internet. much less post things on it. amazing. just amazing.

10:38 PM  
Anonymous stacey's mom said...

what a terrible draft. terrible. 3 people? are you retarded? you've lost any and all of your momentum

11:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is definitely what happens when you let the nutjobs run loose with the place...what a disaster

12:00 PM  
Anonymous justin said...

nah. this was a reasonably solid draft. anyone who says otherwise is just trying to be snobby for snobbiness' sake.

12:19 PM  
Anonymous dan said...

we had momentum?

4:51 PM  
Blogger Selfish Country Music Loving Lady said...

I'm just sad that we inadvertently left out Updike.

Also, I would like to point out that only one person (SARAH) had actually READ all of the books that she selected in the draft. Do I get extra points for that? What do you think, pretend literature professor?

5:32 PM  
Blogger Flash in the Pan said...

speaking in the fourth person again, eh sarah? (referring to yourself in the third person while postering as another identity. or is that technically the sixth person?)

4:22 PM  
Anonymous justin said...

eh. who's actually read 'sound and the fury' or 'uncle tom's cabin' anyway?

10:05 AM  
Anonymous literature professor said...

I have, and you definnitely get points for reading all your books, as should you all, but where is the skill in a three person draft, the only person who marginally made a mistake is Sydney, come on your last pick is a joke, there are a plethora of better books out there, an Updike, Toole? Also who is this justin fellow, does he even count for anything besides snide comments on the side board?

11:32 AM  
Anonymous literature professor said...

Also, Absalom, Absalom! is a far superior book. Oh and one more thing where is Sherwood Anderson's masterpiece Winesburg Ohio, does anyone remember him, he was Hemmingway before there was a Hemmingway, the same goes for Faulkner. Anderson is the acknowledged mentor of some of America's most brilliant novelists including the before mentioned Ernest H., and William F. Pitiful he wasnt selected.

11:34 AM  
Blogger Flash in the Pan said...

can i take a guess that our dear literature professor likes t.s. eliot too? gah, silas marner might have been the worst book i've ever read. man did that book suck. also, if you're reading faulkner on a regular basis, well good on you. as for me, i'm going to go read something that i might enjoy.

5:20 PM  
Blogger Selfish Country Music Loving Lady said...

T.S. Eliot
George Eliot

That concludes today's lesson.

10:47 PM  
Anonymous dan said...

oh right. scratch that. ts eliot is ok. george eliot (aka maryann evans) should die. immediately. if she weren't already dead.

1:24 AM  
Blogger the Thin Man said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:32 AM  
Anonymous Literature Professor said...

At first I was confused as to why you would attack such an author of great breadth as T.S.; his literary criticism is also on par with Matthew Arnold's as some of the best by someone that can be called a good writer. Ezra Pound of course helped make TS what he is, man was he an editor, anyway, lets not forget DH Lawrence, rocking horse winner anyone? Faulkner is a difficult read, but well worth your time, like I said, I prefer Sherwood Anderson, Hemmingway and Steinbeck, but if you're reading Faulkner go for Absalom, Absalom! phenomenal book for what I judge to be your generation (mid 20s).

9:34 AM  
Anonymous abe lincoln said...

you people are idots. a three person draft? come on. this is a sad, sad day for fantasy drafts. idiots. all of you.

11:32 AM  
Anonymous John Booth said...

waste of a good blog, way to make it stupid and boring morons.

12:32 PM  
Blogger Selfish Country Music Loving Lady said...

Man, I can't believe we're getting more flack about this one than about Fruits & Vegetables.

1:25 PM  
Anonymous hugo chavez said...

more albert! we demand more albert! why was he not included in this mundane and boring draft! he would have spiced it up and made the picks that we know needed to be made. we demand answers.

1:57 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home