Fantasy Drafts

Monday, November 28, 2005

Amendments to the Constitution draft -- results

4:45 PM

Those of you who are avid fans might have noticed that a certain demographic of beer-obsessed shut-ins felt some contempt for our choices in the last draft. So we thought, let’s draft something we know really, really well.
Since we’ve already drafted Simpsons characters, we decided to go for our second-favorite thing besides TV, namely, FREEDOM!

Behold the mighty Amendments to the Constitution draft. Any readers who aren’t comfortable with the handy Constitution Shorthand deployed here (“what the hell is ‘suffrage’?”) are advised to consult the full text.

Adam: 1st (Religion and Expression)
Sydney: 13th (Slavery and Involuntary Servitude)
Sarah: 9th (Unenumerated Rights)
Chris: 14th (Rights Guaranteed, Privileges and Immunities of Citizenship, Due Process and Equal Protection)

Chris: 16th (Income Tax)
Sarah: 19th (Women's Suffrage Rights)
Sydney: 21st (Repeal of the Eighteenth Amendment)
Adam: 4th (Search and Seizure)

Adam: 5th (Rights of Persons)
Sydney: 10th (Reserved Powers)
Sarah: 15th (Rights of Citizens to Vote)
Chris: 8th (Further Guarantees in Criminal Cases)

Chris: 17th (Popular Election of Senators)
Sarah: 22nd (Presidential Tenure)
Sydney: 6th (Rights of Accused in Criminal Prosecutions)
Adam: 12th (Election of President)

Adam: 24th (Abolition of the Poll Tax Qualification in Federal Elections)
Sydney: 26th (Reduction of Voting Age Qualification)
Sarah: 2nd (Bearing Arms)
Chris: 25th (Presidential Vacancy, Disability, and Inability)

Chris: 11th (Suits Against States)
Sarah: 18th (Prohibition of Intoxicating Liquors)
Sydney: 23rd (Presidential Electors for the District of Columbia)
Adam: 20th (Commencement of the Terms of the President, Vice President and Members of Congress)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

so someone picked an ammendment that was just enacted to repel a previous amendment before the actual amendment? weird.

4:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

repeAl, jackass

5:11 PM  
Anonymous Buster Bluth said...

Yeah, like anyone would want to "R" her.

6:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think he probably meant "rappel."

A little known fact, but the 88th Congress wanted to erect a two hundred-foot piece of parchment containing the text of the 7th amendment. With the help of trained professionals, the lawmakers then wanted to "repel" down the face of the amendment. Sadly, the measure was never let out of the House Fun and Games Subcommittee.

6:28 PM  
Blogger Selfish Country Music Loving Lady said...

Boy, the amendments sure start to go downhill towards the end there, don't they?

9:33 AM  
Blogger Selfish Country Music Loving Lady said...

Also, I think our Inexplicably Mean Commenter died. RIP IMC!

2:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd still like to have seen someone take the "28th Amendment" (Banning recognition of marriages or civil unions between anyone other than a man and a woman)as a late-round "draft and follow" pick.

3:09 PM  
Anonymous GOB said...

The 28th Amendment is going to ban flag burning. Like some anonymous commenter is going to tell the guy in the SIX THOUSAND DOLLAR SUIT what the next Constitutional amendment is going to be. Come on!

6:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel like the first imaginary amendment to go in this crowd probably would have been the ERA

11:33 PM  
Anonymous Lindsay said...

We definitely need to pass some more amendments. A million (bleep)ing amendments!

11:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


12:13 PM  
Blogger Hired Hand said...

Exciting guest commentary forthcoming. . . we think.

5:29 PM  

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