Fantasy Drafts

Monday, September 12, 2005

Chain Restaurants Draft (Part II)

5:03 PM

Bryan: Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse, In-N-Out Burger, Wafflehouse, Hooters, Wendy’s, Outback Steakhouse, TGI Friday’s, White Castle

Whatta carnivore! From steak, to boobs, to ground chuck, Bryan's draft amassed all that American cuisine has to offer. Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse is clearly the shining gem in all of this. Hooters, while a bit misogynistic, is a creative pick and should be noted for its delicious wings and fun, yet challenging trivia nights (NOT its waitresses in orange hot pants). Bryan’s hard hitting trio of burger chains certainly has its ups and downs, the high point clearly being In-N-Out Burger whose simple menu and delectable burgers put it a league of its own. Wendy’s, though it has DE-licious frosties, makes the unforgivable blunder of fitting a square peg into a round hole – burgers should never be square and that’s just that. Though it promotes the laudable idea of eating several burgers in one sitting and provided the impetus a rather amusing movie, White Castle commits the same sin of square burgers and is just plain gross. This reviewer gives Bryan’s draft 3 heart attacks waaaaaay up – vegetables… and other cultures won’t hurt you. C-

Albert: Uncle Julio’s, McCormick and Schmick’s, Daily Grill, Rock Bottom, Houston’s, Benihana, Checker’s, Boardwalk Fries

Uncle Julio’s was an interesting start to Albert’s draft. Though she acknowledges the restaurant’s deliciousness, this commenter is saddened over the chain’s face lift (and simultaneous price-jacking) in the recent years. It is no longer the lovable dive she grew up with. McCormick and Schmick’s was another solid pick – a high-end steakhouse never hurt anyone. Why little Albert picked both Houston’s and Daily Grill is beyond me – both good, but let’s face it, they are the same restaurant!! Benihana, as acknowledged by one of our non-robot commenters, was a steal in the later rounds. Who doesn’t love a good flaming tower of onions? Albert sullied his very admirable draft with Checkers, only a step above Jack-in-the-Box. He should be commended, however for his late pick of Boardwalk fries. Why chains remove the skins off of potatoes for their fries is a mystery. It should also be noted that this drafter tried to pass off not one, but two restaurants that did not meet the requirements as set by the administrateur of the chain restaurant draft. Albert had better read the rules better next time…. B+

Adam: Morton’s, Roy’s, Nobu, Spago, Popeye’s, Gordon Biersch, Clyde’s, Pret a Manger

Puck it up! Adam wins the award for having the most restaurants with tablecloths, a feat hard to come by in the chain restaurant world. Adam opened with an unsurprising first pick, Morton’s (motto: “The Best Steak Anywhere”). Whether it’s the best steak anywhere is debatable, but it’s pretty damn good. Next up was Roy’s, possibly the only chain restaurant to feature Hawaiian cuisine, a nice little pick off the beaten path. Spago adds a bit of Hollywood glamour and a big brand name to the mix (although Wolfgang Puck’s street cred has taken a nosedive due to his appearances and products on HSN). Stepping down from the snooty restaurant chain pedestal, Adam gave a slight nod towards the real America and its fast food industry by selecting Popeye’s, home of the greatest biscuits ever to grace the earth. Clyde’s proves to be a nice and tasty homage to Adam’s humble DC beginnings. You don’t have to have a prix fixe menu to be a good restaurant…. A-

11 Comments:

Blogger Hired Hand said...

Editor's note:

With the release of commentary and grades for the Chain Restaurant Draft, we have witnessed the first change of any kind in the Fantasy Drafts Leaderboard (to the right-hand sidebar on the main page). Check it out. Chris relinquishes sole control of pole position (the first time he's ever been known to let go of anything with "pole" in it) as Adam's A- grade has him hanging tight at 3.67.

5:32 PM  
Blogger Flash in the Pan said...

can anyone guess which one of the fantasy drafters looks forward to his monthly review the most? anyone? any of these drafters out here desperately looking for a pat on the back, maybe a thumbs up? no, no one jumps out at you? no one who appears to be dying to be graded? no. that doesnt fit anyone you dont think? ok, just thought i'd ask.

5:51 PM  
Blogger Hired Hand said...

Having relied upon others' evaluations to establish my own self-worth for nearly 23 years now, I see no reason to stop.

6:10 PM  
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9:55 PM  
Blogger Almost Ignatius J. said...

Buy and sell EVERYTHING? Thank you robot friend! Do you know where I can buy horses? For fucking?

6:00 AM  
Blogger Red Baroness said...

Chris, why are you making posts at 6 am? I order you to sleep more!

8:58 AM  
Blogger Selfish Country Music Loving Lady said...

OK, interest-free credit on plasma TVs makes sense. But on music?

2:48 PM  
Anonymous Adam said...

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5:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

prix fixe. the red baronness has panache

5:30 PM  
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6:18 AM  
Blogger Selfish Country Music Loving Lady said...

Boy, those robots sure do get up early in the morning.

9:16 AM  

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