Fantasy Drafts

Friday, August 05, 2005

Candy Bars Draft - Expert Elitist's Commentary

12:02 PM

From Sarah --

I think everyone's draft turned out remarkably strong, with only a few unfortunate picks marring the potential deliciousness of each team. Dan started out strong with the heavy hitters Reese's and Heath Bars, both notable for their wide popularity AND robust, unique flavors. He showed some drafting flair by picking delectable but unusual bars, snickers crunch and vanilla charleston chew. Amazingly, he managed to snag the excellent, multi-faceted Whatchamacallit in a late round, and his one stumble came with the boring, bland Hershey's Almonds in the last Round.

Albert, throughout the draft, showed his affinity for sugar, sugar, sugar over more complex tastes, choosing Butterfinger, Symphony Toffee, and the dreadful Zagnut. His second-round pick of Caramello was widely seen as a major error, but then again, chaque on a son gout. 100 grand was a mid-round standout for Albert, the one bar on Albert's team showing some true flair, although Almond Joy was also widely seen as a solid, dependable pick.

Sydney's team has perhaps the greatest variety of any -- her bars featured nuts, caramel, nougat of different flavors, marshmallow, and peppermint. Sydney also mixed the standard A-list bars, such as Snickers and Baby Ruth, with more unusual, local favorites, such as Nutrageous, Cadbury Marble Bars and the traditional Southern treat, the Goo Goo Cluster. Sydney was also the only drafter to choose TWO circular "bars."

Adam's drafting, though it resulted in a well-rounded, dependable team, can only be described as "uninspired." Trying to make up for widespread scorn after squandering his first pick on the middling Nestle Crunch, Adam struck out again with the Kit Kat -- admittedly delicious, but hardly second-round fare. Adam soldiered on with old standards Mounds and Symphony Almond before finally finding his style in the second-to-last round and closing his team with the outstanding final picks of Take 5 and Twix Peanut Butter.

Chris mixed in numerous textures and tastes to create an unusual constellation of candies despite the run-of-the-mill nature of hisindividual picks. After the crunchy goodness of Twix and Payday, Chris stumbled a little with the crowd-pleasing but thoroughly unimaginative Milky Way and Hershey bars, followed by Skor, which, although delicious, was blatantly derivative of Dan's prior Heath Bar pick. When Chris rounded out his draft with S'mores, though, all commentators had to agree that Chris's picks would make a great collection of Halloween candy.

My team, I will admit, may only seem like the "best" from my own idiosyncratic (and elitist) perspective. Still, between the competition-crushing Five Star Bars and the indisputably classy, sophisticated 5th Avenue, Peanut Chews, and sexy Almond Joy Dark, rounded out by the acquired-taste favorites Pearson's Nut Roll and O Henry!, I have to say that, despite my being last in the draft order, my draft really WAS the best. But then again, we all expected that.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would just like to point out that had the drafters known when the draft would end Colgate University would have been a late round selection.

3:25 PM  
Blogger Selfish Country Music Loving Lady said...

That's not a candy bar!

Who else wishes Colgate University were covered in chocolate?

10:00 PM  

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