Fantasy Drafts

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Beatles Commentary - Part II of II

6:01 PM
An all-around snob evaluates Dan, Adam, and Albert:

Dan started off the draft with a good pick, but by no means a song worthy of the first round. Here Comes the Sun has one of the Beatles’ finer melodies, but pales in comparison to some of his later picks. Mysteriously enough, Dan’s portfolio changed from strong to quite strong. Overall, he scored some monumental songs, such as "Hard Day’s Night" and "Let it Be." Now if that doesn’t span a career, I don’t know what does. Reeling from his victory over "Let It Be," Dan faltered a bit with "Glass Onion" and "Lovely Rita." "Help!", "Yesterday", and "Eight Days A Week" pay a nice homage to the early years, while "Norwegian Wood" and the sadly lovable "Yellow Submarine" round out his later songs. The real oddball in all of this is "Mean Mr. Mustard," truly a last round pick. This short ditty, perhaps evocative of Dan’s desire to run wild and shout obscenities at the Queen, does very little for his draft. Overall grade: B+. Nice variety with only the occasional “Wha’ Happened?”

[Dan’s Draft: Here Comes the Sun; Norwegian Wood; I'm Only Sleeping; Let It Be; Glass Onion; Lovely Rita; Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da; Help!; Yesterday; Eight Days A Week; Hard Day's Night; Fixing A Hole; Yellow Submarine; Mean Mr. Mustard]

Perhaps the most feared drafter of the bunch, Adam certainly showed his Beatles prowess on and off the playing field. When called upon, he was able to spout out trivia about any song in this entire draft, a feat we were all amazed and slightly scared by. Adam started out with the classic “Day Tripper” and the amusing "Happiness is a Warm Gun." Most commendable, however, are his hard-hitters “Strawberry Fields Forever,” “Hey Jude,” “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band,” and “Drive My Car”. These picks showcase the band at their best… on a lot of drugs. In the second-to-last round, Adam let his true Beatles snob colors shine through by drafting “I’ve Got A Feeling (Remastered version from Let it Be...Naked),” as if the run-of-the-mill version was beneath him. Although drafted late in the game and never a US chart topper, “From Me To You” should be acknowledged not for its musical quality, but for its appearance on one of the two 1964 Ed Sullivan Show performances. These concerts were instrumental in instigating Beatlemania in the US, starting a chain of events without which we might have been unable to hold this draft (a real tragedy). Overall grade: B+. No one likes a showoff.

[Adam’s Draft: Day Tripper; Happiness Is A Warm Gun; Yer Blues; Strawberry Fields Forever; I Am The Walrus; Hey Jude; Dear Prudence; Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band; Oh! Darling; Taxman; Drive My Car; From Me To You; I've Got A Feeling, (Remastered version from Let it Be...Naked); Hey Bulldog]

If variety is the spice of life, Albert is not a very spicy fellow… unless you only like pepper. Make no mistake of what Albert’s favorite Beatles album is: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. Yes, half of his entire draft is made up of one album. While “Day in the Life,” “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds,” and “With a Little Help From My Friends” are all fantastic picks, Albert’s lust for fame and glory marred his draft with the so-so “Being for the Benefit Mr. Kite” and “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise),” the sappy “She’s Leaving Home,” and the deplorable “Within Without you.” Sadly, the sitar’s novelty wore off after Revolver and should have been discarded after that. Sgt. Pepper aside, “Rocky Raccoon” was an eccentric, but tolerable 2nd round choice, joined later on by its even more eccentric album mate, “Helter Skelter.” The real tragedy of Albert’s team is the fact that “You’re Going to Lose that Girl” is the only pre-Rubber Soul song in sight. Overall grade: C. We’re not playing Risk here - no need for a coalition.

[Albert’s Draft: Day in the Life; Rocky Raccoon; Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds; You Never Give Me Your Money; Nowhere Man; Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite; With a Little Help From My Friends; Maxwell's Silver Hammer; Helter Skelter; Within You, Without You; Sgt. Pepper's (Reprise); Octopus' Garden; You're Going to Lose that Girl; She's Leaving Home]

UPDATE (9:21 pm PDT): The previously-posted barcode-esque image of "Abbey Road" has been removed in the interests of good taste, and amended with The Real Deal. Apologies if any Beatles snobs' sensibilities were upset. (This one's have only begun to recover. I do declare, the vapors!)
-Hired Hand

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow What An Bitch

9:37 PM  
Blogger Selfish Country Music Loving Lady said...

OK, who keeps hating on our commentaries?

Sometimes the truth hurts, people.

9:14 AM  
Anonymous ALANG said...

I agree, although i do see the OP's point, i mean Sgt. Pepper's is a phenomenal album, and who made choosing from different albums criteria for a great draft?

12:25 PM  
Blogger Hired Hand said...

If you're gonna argue about the review criteria, it's all in the eye of the beholder. I, for one, would argue that your draft was indeed subpar, as it eschewed some of the Beatles' better (and older) work in order to pick up "Within You Without You." As meditative a track as it may be, you can do better. As John said in "When I Get Home": "I've got no time for trivialities." Neither did you, Albert - neither did you.

12:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thats not what you said last night,

3:23 PM  

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