Beatles Commentary - Part I of II

An incredibly arrogant Beatles snob [Adam] evaluates Bryan, Chris, and Sydney:

Bryan’s “album” looked to be fairly solid until midway through the draft, when apparently songs written by actual Beatles became too good for him. DJ B admirably selected ode-to-German-prostitutes “Ticket to Ride” and ode-to-vegetarians “I Will” to lead off the draft, and showed album variety, if not creativity, with his next four choices. At this point, however, the Good Ship Bryan strikes the iceberg with the selection of Chuck Berry’s “Roll Over Beethoven.” Despite achieving brief redemption in “Please Please Me” and “I’m Looking Through You,” he stumbled again with “You Really Got a Hold On Me,” the frontrunner for Worst Song Taken. With so many Beatles songs to choose from, “I Should Have Known Better” was an all-too-fitting end to this draft. Overall grade: C-. Sack up, bra.

[Bryan’s draft: Ticket To Ride; I Will; In My Life; You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away; When I’m Sixty-Four; Something; Here, There, And Everywhere; Roll Over Beethoven; Do You Want To Know A Secret; Love Me Do; Please Please Me; You Really Got A Hold On Me; I’m Looking Through You; I Should Have Known Better]

Chris betrayed his normal affinity for counterculture by selecting the most #1 hits of any participant: a whopping EIGHT of his fourteen choices hit the top of the charts in Britain or America. It wasn’t necessarily a bad idea: the team kicks it off strong with “I Saw Her Standing There,” and follows it with two very good (although similar) songs in “She Loves You” and “Can’t Buy Me Love.” Chris’s draft then sends us on a rollercoaster ride that manages to be depressing, uplifting, nostalgic, amorous, and psychedelic all at once: from “Revolution” through “Magical Mystery Tour,” it’s hard to find fault with the heart of the order. His selection of three straight #1’s to close the draft gave him bang for his buck, but neglected some of the Beatles’ best work. Indeed, the White Album, Sgt. Pepper’s, and Abbey Road are entirely overlooked – and NO George Harrison songs make an appearance. Overall grade: B. George is dead now, Chris, and there’s no way you can make it up to him.

[Chris’s draft: I Saw Her Standing There; She Loves You; Can’t Buy Me Love; Revolution; Eleanor Rigby; Penny Lane; Got To Get You Into My Life; And I Love Her; We Can Work It Out; Magical Mystery Tour; All My Loving; I Want To Hold Your Hand; Lady Madonna; Paperback Writer]

Sydney’s draft has been lauded since the results hit the press – a seemingly impregnable fortress of Beatle Greatness. From the Harrison masterpiece “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” to the 60’s anthem “All You Need Is Love,” the mistakes are few and far between. “I Me Mine,” while another great Harrison track, was never REALLY a full-on song, having been pasted together from studio outtakes from its initial Spectorized release in 1970. Syd features the Beatles at their finest, from the widely popular (“Blackbird,” “Come Together,” “Birthday”) to the underappreciated (“For No One,” “I’m So Tired,” “Get Back”). A remarkable breadth was shown by songwriter, style, tempo, and melody. With no songs pre-1966, however, Sydney neglects all Beatles tunes NOT written under the influence of psychedelic drugs. Bonus points for selecting the most songs in mixed meter; demerit for drafting as if the world began with Revolver. Overall grade: A-. Alllllmost made it.

[Sydney’s draft: While My Guitar Gently Weeps; Back in the USSR; For No One; Come Together; Blackbird; I Me Mine; She Came In Through The Bathroom Window; Across the Universe; I’m So Tired; Because; Birthday; Get Back; Julia; All You Need Is Love]