Fantasy Drafts

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

An Elitist Commentary on Drafting Elite Institutions

7:32 PM
This wonderful, if-not-scathing insight, was offered by a drafter who has come under recent fire for her GMing capabilities, Mrs. S. Sarah Post. Her characteristically quixotic demands for excellence are apparent in her 'fair' appraisal of the 8-round draft of United States Colleges and Universities.

"Others shape their commentary round by round; I prefer to analyze the participants' resulting teams. If you actually care about enough to have a problem with that, feel free to send me your long-winded diatribes. Looking forward to hearing from you!

Following the Inevitable First Pick of Harvard, Chris mostly focused on building a vaguely Southern coalition. Though he should be commended for remembering that not all strong C&U picks are found in the Northeast or in California, one's eyes do start to glaze over at the monotony of most of Chris's team – UVA, Rice, Vanderbilt, Washington U. St. Louis, and Emory, though excellent schools all, are also, like, identical. Without a single small college or disturbingly enormous state school (UVA, with only 10,000 undergrads, hardly makes the cut there), Chris's team suffers from lack of variety. Oh, and Chris also got Penn, but who cares?

Dan achieved two major strategic objectives with his draft, snaring three (by far the most) schools attended by draft participants AND getting all over the map – literally! Get it?? All over the map? Because he picked colleges from lots of differen…never mind. After selecting Stanford in a transparent attempt to enrage Adam, NYU was Dan's ill-advised second pick: a nice school in a great location, but hardly second-round material – just look at how they treated Scalia!
Following up with Miami, USC, Northwestern, and UNC-Chapel Hill, Dan traversed the country and snapped up some excellent sports teams in the process. With last-round picks BC and Bowdoin, Dan ended up – characteristically – in New England.

Adam recovered rapidly from his first-round heartbreak, building a team of outstanding intellectual power and social ineptitude. Picking schools known for humanities (Yale, Chicago), engineering (Carnegie Mellon), and general overachiever status (Amherst, Georgetown, Swarthmore), Adam ensured that his team members would be up late into the night, rejecting their parents' values. With probably the widest spread among types of schools of any drafter – his team included everything from teensy little colleges to state behemoths UT and UC-Berkeley – Adam ensured his powerhouse team will amass disturbing amounts of power and influence throughout the foreseeable future.

Sydney, the only person besides Dan to successfully lay claim to her own alma mater, ended up with a middling team, one with some excellent choices but lacking overall coherence. After ensnaring the schools that would top anyone's rankings for Most Irritating Jerks (Princeton) and Most Disturbingly Intelligent Nerds (Caltech), Sydney switched to picking (yawn!) some very nice schools with great reputations, Brown, Michigan, and UCLA. Sydney then lurched in another direction entirely, becoming the only drafter to make two picks based on music education. Extra points for Manhattan School of Music, whose acronym moonlights as "mainstream media" – probably the only time that particular phrase will appear on this blog.

Albert's team had the highest preponderance of small northeastern liberal arts colleges. Wow, that's really manly, Albert. After inexplicably choosing MIT even though he majored in creative writing, Albert grabbed the two most different Ivies (Columbia and Dartmouth?), lacrosse/pre-med powerhouse Johns Hopkins, and Notre Dame with a hat tip to his Catholic-school upbringing. Wellesley, a potentially innocent pick in the hands of one of the other drafters, is downright creepy with Albert: you can almost hear him rubbing his hands together in skeevy anticipation. Albert's picks, though promising in some areas, fail to achieve the unity and flair that one would hope for a C&U team."


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home